Kids Say the Darnedest Things!

This post could alternatively be titled "Patriotism" or "The "F" Word".  Speaking of the "f" word, I don't mean that "f" word I mean the other one, you know, fart, flatulence, fluffy, or what ever you call it at your house.

The other day as HT and I were out doing a few errands we drove past an american flag and he got all agitated and pointed and shouted, very annoyed, "Look dere's a flag!"

Me, trying to deflate the situation, said, "That's an american flag, isn't is lovely, waving in the wind?"

He just fumed.  Then we saw another and another, at the credit union, at the mall, at the fire station, and every time he saw one he got madder.

"Look dere's another one, WHY ARE DEY DOING DAT?!"

I tried to explain to him that they were flying the flag as a symbol of their patriotism, that they were proud to have the flag of our country at their place of business.

Finally I asked, "Why are you getting so upset?"

"Because, it FREAKS ME OUT!"

"Why is it freaking you out?"

"'Cuz, it makes me FART!"

Me, trying desperately to stifle my laughter,  "Really?"

Him, "All da time, it weally, weally does!"


Good to know.

I guess.

I can just picture him in Kindergarten learning the pledge of allegiance, with his little hand over his heart.  "I pledge allegiance to the flag (bpoot) of the United States of America . . . " or while singing the national anthem, "Oh, say can you see (bpoot) by the dawns early light . . . "  Poor boy will be laughed out of school, or sent to the principal's office.

Speaking of farts, Papa likes to blame the kids for his, do all men do this or is it just my husband?  I told him we had some really talented kids.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"They're ventriloquists." I said.

Blank stare.

"Yeah, if they can make their farts come out your hiney, that's talent!"

I'm just sayin'.