Blog much?

Yeah . . . me neither, apparently.

Anyhoo . . .  have you all seen where June went?  I turned to say good-bye to May and the next thing I know July comes waltzing in with her triple digit days and I'm just trying to keep my cool.  In more ways than one.  I don't deal well with the heat.

We have been keeping ourselves busy with swim lessons, visits from family, VBS and more family visits and a few play dates and just so as not to get too bored there will be golf lessons next week and vacationing ourselves the following week.

All the running around has meant that we have been eating out more, so yeah, funny story.  Just to mix things up a bit we went to Wendy's one fine afternoon for lunch (Mama was getting sick of McDonald's) and HT wants a cheeseburger (ketchup only) so we get our lunch, bring it home and sit down at the table to eat.  HT takes one look at his and shouts in disgust "MEAT?!  I didn't order dat! Why did they put meat on my sandwich?!"  And there you have it folks, truth in advertising!

EM refuses to be potty trained and likes to pretend he's a kitty.  He also thinks that he no longer needs a nap, but at only 2 1/2, Mama thinks he still does.  So funny story . . . last Saturday while I was at work and Auntie had the boys, he climbs up on her lap with his blankie and starts to meow and tells her that kitty needs a nap.  The amazing thing is that he actually took one.

And now for your viewing pleasure I will post a "few" photos from the last two months.  Enjoy!

HT said good-bye to preschool.

He will start Kindergarten August 27, not sure how I feel about that.

EM got the chicken pox.  Doc said it was the worst case he had ever seen in someone who had been vaccinated.  Had to keep him inside for two weeks.  He was not a happy camper.  This boy does love the outdoors.

EM wanted to go for a bike ride but apparently we weren't moving fast enough for him, so he decided to get in the seat all by his self.  Here he is waiting patiently for his ride . . .

"Can we peez go for a ride Papa?"

Go ask your mom...

Yesterday one of my co-workers & his wife had their first child, a girl.  I took HT and EM with me to pick up a baby gift from the group and as we were heading home HT & I had the following conversation.

HT:  "How do they put her bottom back on?"

Me:  "Whose bottom?"

HT:  "The mom's."

Me:  "The mom's?"

HT:  "Yeah, after they get the baby out, how do they put her bottom back on?"

Me: "Go ask your mom."

It's on days like this I'm happy to be just the Auntie.  

Engaged

My biggest problem with blogging to remember is remembering to blog.  So if my stated position for blogging is remembering I'm not doing such a good job.

Anyhoo . . .

HT has often told me and/or asked me if he and I could get married when he grows up and I have sadly had to tell him no, because I'm already married to his papa, so he has settled for the next best thing, his Aunt Susan.

That is until the other day when I picked him up from pre-school, he came bounding out of the class room very excited.

"Mom, Mom, guess what!?"

"What?"

"My girlfriend and I have decided."

"Your girlfriend?  Who's your girlfriend?  Averi?"

"No, its . . . (Pause with me a moment, while he runs back into the classroom to check.) . . its Abby."


"Oh, and what have you all decided."

"Mom, my girlfriend and I have decided that when we grow up we're going to get married!"

"Hmm, I thought you were going to marry Aunt Susan.  Won't she be disappointed?"

"Well, I guess that would be okay."


::


I didn't ask him if he meant it would be okay to marry Aunt Susan or if it would be okay that she would be disappointed.  I'm pretty sure though that she will understand.

An Inquiring Mind, Part Two

This boy does love to talk and to talk non stop and every time he opens his mouth at least one question tumbles out into the atmosphere.  Hanging there waiting for an answer . . . like I should know.  I do try, but sometimes, well sometimes there isn't an answer that doesn't involve a masters degree in divinity or science or at something or other.  Sometimes I wonder though if even that would help.

Just thought I would share.

::

"Mom, what if we have a bomb in our backyard?"

"I suppose it would leave a big hole, why are you worrying about bombs."

"Well, if der was a bomb, would I still get to play outside?"


::

"Mom, what would happen if aliens had no arms?"


"What do you think would happen?"

"I suppose they wouldn't be able to grab me."


::

"How can alien space ships get to earth?"

"Rocket boosters"

"What if they didn't have any?"

"Then they couldn't get here."

::

"What if wheels had spikes?"

"Well, I suppose it would make it harder to drive, it would be kinda like having a goat head sticker in your shoe."

"Oh, dat would be not good."


::

"Mama, why does everybody poop?"

"Um, because they need to."

"What doesn't poop?"

::

"How do ghosts defend themselves?"

"By trying to scare you away."

"Well, I would just yell BOO to der face!"

::

"Mama, how do clouds stick together?"

"They hold hands."

"But I can't see dem holding hands."

"That's because their hands are in their pockets."

"Oh."

::

"How do clouds move?"

"The wind blows them."

"But I can't see it."

"Nope."

"But why can't I see the wind?"

"Nobody can, but we can see the effects of the wind."

::

"How did God make the cups and plates?"

"He didn't."

"But what about the wife?"

::

"How much breath does God have?"

"Lots."

"How much breath do we have?"

"Enough to keep us alive."

"What happens if we get older?"


::

"I miss myself."

"How can you miss yourself?"

"Because I'm not having a happy face, but sad!"

I had a dream ...

that Charming's Mama posted a new blog. Then I woke up to see HT staring at me willing me awake. It was a chilly morning and he wanted 2 things. To be under the covers where it was warm and my nook so he could play Angry Birds Space.

Since the dream was so vivid I decided I'd post again. I'll apologize in advance that I'm not as eloquent as she is.

HT and I had gone to run a couple of errands and on our way home I guess I was a little bit vocal about someone who was on their phone and not paying attention to their driving. As we passed them HT shook his fist at their car and yelled ARGH!

EM came up to me with tears streaming down his face saying that "Mama said no again". When I asked what it was he wanted he just repeated that Mama said no. Given the evidence on his face I suspect it was no to another cookie but I could be mistaken.

I tried a new recipe over the weekend, a variation of Mongolian Beef made in the crock pot, and HT told me that his taste buds were telling him that it was a little salty. He ate it all, but he was right slow cooking the soy makes it a bit salty, I'll have to tweak the recipe a bit.

I had some friends over for a poker night and EM melted hearts when he shyly asked one of the ladies to pick him up and he cuddled right in.

~Aunt Susan

The picture really has nothing to do with the post, it's just one of my very favorite images of the boys. It is so much what love is.

Yesterday ...

I had to run to the store to get some bread. EM had finished his supper and was tormenting HT so I took him with me.

I mentioned in my previous post that EM has issues with T's, wellll, as we were driving down the road he started pointing out all the trucks he saw.

1 Fruck, 2 frucks, red fruck, blue fruck.

I couldn't stop laughing.

~Aunt Susan

Moments...

Since it looks like the Tyrant's Mama is in a blogging slump right now I thought I'd step in and share a couple of moments that have happened recently.

HT .. "No brother you can't go with me and Aunt Susan, I need my Aunt Susan alone time."

EM .. I walked into my bedroom the other day and found EM sitting in front of my shoe rack busily tearing the insides out of my shoes.

HT .. "I'm pretending to be a puppy today" as he licked my arm.

EM .. thinks vitamins are candy, I walked into the kitchen and found him sitting surrounded by vitamins and his mouth overflowing with them.

EM .. bumping down the stairs on his bum yelling wheeeee!

HT .. wants to have sweep over at least once a week in my extra bedroom. He gets to stay up late and jump on the bed. =)

EM .. sitting in church looking at the bottom of his shoes and seeing a dump truck and tractor and yelling "Dumb Fruck". Walking into the grocery store, seeing a fire truck parked in front and yelling "Fire Fruck".

EM .. listening to his Papa telling him to say "t t t truck" and saying "t t t fruck"

HT .. picking him up from school and hearing about his friends and all the things he learned today.

EM .. following HT around and having to eat, wear, say, anything his big brother is eating, wearing, saying, doing.

HT & EM destroying my living room, tearing the couch and chair apart to make forts and hiding places and tents. Racing up and down the hall, jumping on the beds, yelling at the top of their lungs. Sitting quietly on the couch watching Peep & the Big Wide World, listening avidly to a story book, sleeping soundly and looking angelic.

Lots of little moments that make up the everyday and that make living with 2 little boys an adventure.

~Aunt Susan

PHFR - Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Over at Like Mother, Like Daughter they do a weekly link up party called, Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real.  The intent is to capture in words and/or pictures "the context of everyday life" or is it "contentment" anyway I have linked up with them once before and thought I would do so again today.

{Pretty}

We had our first snow fall of the season two weeks ago, before the trees dropped all their leaves and it was really pretty.  Especially when the sun peeked through the clouds and made it all sparkly.  I was glad that it didn't last very long.  

But the boys took full advantage.

{Happy}

Sometimes it really is the simplest little things that make you happy, like finding a love note in post-it note form stuck the the computer screen yesterday morning.

A surprise play date with a friend.

A visit from your nephew before he moves to a foreign country.

{Funny} 

So, funny story . . .  the other night we were sitting down to supper and HT asked about the menu when I put some chicken crispers in front of him, he inquired if they had bones in them.  His Auntie quickly assured him that they did not, then she asked him if he had bones in him, he assured her that he did and she continued with, "Are you sure?  Do you have bones here (pointing to his arm) and here (pointing to his hands) and what about here (grabbing his little finger)?"  

He felt each body part and assured her again that he did.  

Then in all seriousness he said, "I know somewhere that doesn't have any bones."  

"Really?" was her reply, "Where?"

That's when he told her his p***s,  didn't have any bones.  I am not going to spell out the word for you because I don't want any undesirables googling that word and landing on my blog but I will tell you that he was referring to his "daddy parts".

If those chicken crispers had had bones in them we would have all choked on them, trying to stifle our laughter.

Smart boy.  I felt it necessary as his mother to point out that his nose and his outer ears also do not have any bones in them.

{Real}

This boy does love a bucket and it makes him very happy to dump the contents and run up and down the hallway with it on his head.

Even if it does make it difficult to get to ones nose.  He also has caused me more grey hair in his two short years, than his brother has in five.  He's the reason it has taken me all day to get this post written.

And I love him still.

An Inquiring Mind Wants to Know

I have stated here on this blog several time in the past that HT likes to ask the question "Why?" and that he often asks it repeatedly.  I do try to answer his questions but I must admit that I can grow weary of them and every time I answer one he comes up with several follow up questions that sometimes . . . well it seems impossible to give him a satisfactory answer.

Lately I have been writing some of the questions down and I present them here today for your enjoyment and if any of you all can give me any pointers or perhaps give answering some of these questions a shot I would love your input.

"Mama, do spiders like mud? Do dey?"

"I don't know I've never asked a spider."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm big, spiders are little.

"Well if you're in da Thing-A-Majigger, you get small and den you can ask dem!"

::

"Mama, why don't spiders like water? Why?"

"I suppose they don't like getting their hair wet."

"Why can spiders hold lots of things? Why?"

"Maybe because they have eight legs."

"Why do dey have eight legs? Why?"

"So they can hold lots of things."

::

"Mama, do bugs need glasses? Do dey?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because they don't know how to read."

"What about when dey get old?"

::

"Mama, have you ever seen an ant poop?"

"Um . . .  no, nor do I want too.

"Why not?"

::

"Mama, what kind of blood do butterflies have?"

"Butterfly kind."

"Mama, do flowers need blood?"

"No, they need sunshine and rain."

::

"Mama, why do bananas need seeds? Why?"

"So they can grow more bananas."

::

"Mama, do big and taller boys be obedient?"

"Yes they do.  At least they're supposed to."

"Well I should smack dat other idea right out of my head!"

::

"Mama, do ghosts eat dust? Do dey?"

"No, ghosts don't eat anything."

"Why not?  What do dust eat?"

::

"Mama, what happens when people are swimming in da ocean, reading a book and teaching people how to read and get sucked down by a swirly-whirl?"

"They would probably drown."

"How come some swirly-whirls are big and some are little? I never see'd a big one."

::

"Mama, what's Gods phone number?"

"God doesn't have a phone number we can talk to him anytime.  That's what we are doing when we pray, talking to God."

"No, Mama, what's his phone number!?"

"1-800-PRAYER."

::

"Mama, why does sometimes when you bend over God sees your butt?  God can see through houses.  Did ya know dat?  Somebody told me dat but I can't remember who."

::

I asked him the other day why he asks so many questions and he told me, "God gives me questions at da night!"

Licorice Store...

I like to have a glass of wine once in awhile. Shocking! Anyway in the state we live, purchasing a bottle requires a trip to the state controlled Liquor Store. If HT is with me this generally means his mom is too and they sit in the car while I run in to make my purchase. Well, one afternoon, I told my sister I was going to run over to the the liquor store and HT came flying up the stairs hollering "wait for me, Aunt".

(On a side note, I'm no longer Aunt Susan, I'm just Aunt these days. But that's a story for another day.)

I was a little puzzled because HT is a bit of a homebody and usually doesn't want to come with me to run errands. Since it was just him and me, I couldn't leave him in the car alone, so he came into the store with me. Imagine his disappointment when all he saw was this:

And none of this:

As he asked me where all the licorice was all I could do was laugh.

~Charming's Auntie

Cover Your Toes

As I sat at the computer the other day I kept getting distracted by a rustling sound outside the window. Assuming that it was a bird hanging out by the window well I didn't really give it much thought as I didn't see anything when I pulled back the curtain and looked out. Then I noticed movement among the rocks. That's when I saw this . . . this garter snake.

Ain't it purty. NOT! I took this picture through the window so you will have to forgive the poor quality.

It's probably the same garter snake that HT and Papa found in the back yard several weeks back and explains why HT has refused to wear his flip flops to play outside. He says that the snake will smell his toes and will nibble on them if it does. He's also been insisting on wearing socks to bed. He wasn't afraid to look at it and even has several toy snakes. So go figure.

He wanted to sit on my lap on the porch after I had rescued it.

Then EM had to sit on my lap too. Once we were outside the boys didn't want to come back in and I can't say I blame them. It actually was a very nice day and I even got a little bit of a sunburn.

We had a lovely supper on my brothers back patio and enjoyed the company of our Aunt and Uncle visiting from out of town. What more could you ask for?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things!

At Cornbelly's with Auntie waiting for the pig races to start.

My sister knows her words.  She knows lots of words and she knows how to use them.  I liken her language skills to that of Robin Williams playing Peter Pan in Hook, when he throws insults at the Lost Boys using big words that they obviously don't understand and they look at him bewildered, she's that good.  She also knows four letter words, the kind I would rather not have my 4 year old son repeating and she will pepper her speech with them when she deems it a good choice or to make a point.  She also believes in calling a spade a spade.

Yeah.

So the other day Auntie decided to come with me to run a few errands with the kids.

As we are walking out the door she says to HT, "Yipee, wahoo, let's go to Target!  Wah to the Hoo!"

To which HT replied as he skipped merrily out to the garage, "Hell to the Yeah!"

"Did he just say 'hell to the yeah'?",  I inquired.

"Yes" she said, "and I'm ignoring it."

I wonder just where he learned that (cough), Auntie.

Spiderman!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things!

This post could alternatively be titled "Patriotism" or "The "F" Word".  Speaking of the "f" word, I don't mean that "f" word I mean the other one, you know, fart, flatulence, fluffy, or what ever you call it at your house.

The other day as HT and I were out doing a few errands we drove past an american flag and he got all agitated and pointed and shouted, very annoyed, "Look dere's a flag!"

Me, trying to deflate the situation, said, "That's an american flag, isn't is lovely, waving in the wind?"

He just fumed.  Then we saw another and another, at the credit union, at the mall, at the fire station, and every time he saw one he got madder.

"Look dere's another one, WHY ARE DEY DOING DAT?!"

I tried to explain to him that they were flying the flag as a symbol of their patriotism, that they were proud to have the flag of our country at their place of business.

Finally I asked, "Why are you getting so upset?"

"Because, it FREAKS ME OUT!"

"Why is it freaking you out?"

"'Cuz, it makes me FART!"

Me, trying desperately to stifle my laughter,  "Really?"

Him, "All da time, it weally, weally does!"


Good to know.

I guess.

I can just picture him in Kindergarten learning the pledge of allegiance, with his little hand over his heart.  "I pledge allegiance to the flag (bpoot) of the United States of America . . . " or while singing the national anthem, "Oh, say can you see (bpoot) by the dawns early light . . . "  Poor boy will be laughed out of school, or sent to the principal's office.

Speaking of farts, Papa likes to blame the kids for his, do all men do this or is it just my husband?  I told him we had some really talented kids.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"They're ventriloquists." I said.

Blank stare.

"Yeah, if they can make their farts come out your hiney, that's talent!"

I'm just sayin'.

Why ask why?

Is anyone else out there sick of answering questions posed by their pre-schooler?  I have to admit I am, especially when the same question has been asked and answered more than once in the last 10 minutes.  I read on someone's blog awhile back that one should endeavor to answer every question that their child asked.  At first I thought this a noble idea, but now I know it is just down right impossible.  I'm all for fostering my child's curiosity and imagination but I wonder if the author was thinking about questions asked out of context or questioning "why" when asked to pick up their room.

For example the other day while driving to the park for a play date HT pointed out the window and asked:   "What's dat way Mama?"  

"That's north."

"Which way are we going?"

"East"

"What do east do?"

"It doesn't do anything it's the direction we are going."

"Why?"

"So we can get to the park."

"Why?"

"So we can play with our friends."

"Why?"

"Don't you want to play with your friends?"

"Uh-huh."

Finally in exasperation and slightly irritated I asked,  "Then why are you asking me why?"

"But Mama, its my job!"